Show Review: Criss Angel Believe

Location: The Luxor Hotel and Casino (Las Vegas, NV)

I first saw Criss Angel Believe last February when, during my first trip to Las Vegas, I was in need of a cheap show to see. The tickets were significantly lower than those for the other Cirque du Soleil shows, something I assumed was because of the poor reviews it had received. I had heard of these reviews only from the consistently unreliable Perez Hilton (love ya, Perez, but you're site has become increasingly inaccurate) so I took them with a grain of salt. I saw the show, relatively unaware of just who Criss Angel was (I just knew he was a magician), and I loved it. To this day, I still feel that it was a misunderstood masterpiece, a show that perfectly blended the magic of Angel with the artistry of Cirque du Soleil. Neither was dominant, a fact that bugged many critics, but both were very powerful and prominant. Filled with striking imagery and mind-freaking illusions, it was a beautifully haunting show that remained with me long after it ended. So, when I planned my second trip to Las Vegas just a year and a half later, I wanted to see it again, knowing that it had endured many changes since the last time I saw it. I never expected the new show I was going to see...for better or for worse.

Concert Review: Cher

Cher at the Colosseum

Location: The Colosseum at Caesar's Palace (Las Vegas, NV)

There is no one quite like Cher. Madonna...Britney...Gaga...Kylie...there will only ever be one Cher. She is a legend in every sense of the word and, when she takes the stage at the Colosseum at Caesar's Palace, the audience can't help but erupt into thunderous applause, especially since she descends onto the stage like a gold-crusted angel preparing to bless us with her flamboyant presence. Her show, a glamorous and extravagant showcase that is more of a "Cher tribute" than a full-blown Cher concert, is a delightful experience...the kind of experience one can only find in Las Vegas. It is ninety or so minutes of unabashed tackiness and bedazzled glitz...I mean that in the best way possible, of course. The Colosseum is really the perfect place for an entertainer like Cher. It is massive in size, but every seat, I imagine, is a good seat. Therefore, it can bring a large-scale spectacle to a huge number of people for a relatively reasonable price. For the record, I sat in the third row on the first mezzanine and still felt consumed by the sheer spectacle of the show. So, fear not, people who can't (or won't) shell out two-hundred bucks a ticket, you can still enjoy Cher in all of her glory with tickets starting at the still-expensive, but not totally unreasonable eighty-six dollars (not including those pesky fees that Ticketmaster enjoys so darn much).

Should Miley Be Tamed?

Miley Cyrus can't seem to keep her name out of the headlines nowadays, and although she vehemently claims that she ignores all of the negative press...everyone knows that she and her doubtlessly massive marketing team are enjoying every minute of it. Since her decidedly risque (but nonetheless great) video for her hit single, Can't Be Tamed, premiered to gasps from parental groups and thunderous applause from pop music junkies, Cyrus seems to have hit her post-Hannah Montana career stride. And, let's face it, until she starts shaving her head and beating up SUV's with umbrellas, nothing she does is going to hurt her. It's her lot in life as an aspiring pop icon. Pop princesses (like the queen of them all, Britney Spears) can do things that other celebrities can't...can go a little wild...can push the boundaries of social decency and, as long as they don't let their lifestyles affect their music, fans will still turn out. Look at them as old-fashioned rock stars...the more wild they get, the more their fans love them. Unfortunately for Miley, she is growing up and, thus, stepping out in the infamous shadow of Britney Spears' epic breakdown. We are still haunted by photos of a shaved Britney sitting on a curb, barefoot and sobbing...and who could forget the awful sight of Britney, grinning insanely, as she was strapped to a gurney and carried from her home under psychiatric hold?

It Doesn't Suck.

Transylmania

Directed By: David and Scott Hillenbrand

Starring: Oren Skoog, Jennifer Lyons, & Tony Denman

I think years of watching Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer spoof movies have forced me to set the bar really, really, really low for this genre. Because, here is Transylmania, a movie that has about one or two good jokes - really, only one or two jokes that work at all - and yet I actually, to my intense surprise, didn't hate it as much as I thought I would. In fact...and this is really hard for me to say...I actually kinda want to watch it again. I know, I know, I know, I gave it one and a half stars, and my biggest compliment is that "it doesn't suck," but, by golly, when compared to other recent movies of the same ilk, it practically looks like Citizen Kane. I'll tell you why I appreciated it. I liked the fact that it had the cajones to be a spoof movie that was unapologetically R-rated, that it didn't try to pretend to be kid-friendy to make money (and it didn't...make money, that is), and that it actually dares to at least try. Sure, most of the jokes fall flat, but there are actually real jokes here, and that is more than I can say about Date Movie, Epic Movie, Disaster Movie, Meet the Spartans, or whatever other movies by the Friedberg/Seltzer calamity I've endured for the past few years. So, yeah, Transylmania isn't good and I don't recommend that you spend your hard-earned money or precious time watching it...but that doesn't mean that, somewhere in the darkest recesses of my bad-movie-loving mind, I didn't somewhat like it.

Throw Away the Key.

Shutter Island

Directed By: Martin Scorsese

Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Mark Ruffalo, & Ben Kingsley

Shutter Island is the kind of thriller I like. It has a story to tell, it has interesting characters that populate it, and it always knows something that we don't...even though it is basically screaming the truth from the very first frame. It begins with these ominous musical notes that are simultaneously booming and yet subtle, setting the stage for a very dark movie. Play the movie on mute and I suspect that much of its tension will be lost. We meet Teddy Daniels and Chuck Aule (Leonardo DiCaprio and Mark Ruffalo, respectively), two investigators who have been called to Ashecliffe, a mental hospital located on the decidedly dangerous-looking Shutter Island. Faintly reminiscent of Alcatraz (or, for the Harry Potter fans, Azkaban), it is the kind of place that looks like it could drive sane men crazy and crazy men...well, even crazier. Had Shutter Island been directed by a less capable director than Martin Scorsese (And, really, who isn't less capable than him?), I think Ashecliffe would have come off looking hokey...but Scorsese wisely commands the opening scenes, filling them with foreboding shots of the journey Teddy and Chuck make into Ashecliffe. It is as though we are being led inside...taken to the mysterious hospital...plunged into the nightmare.

The Line Between Right and Wrong

Splice

Directed By: Vincenzo Natali

Starring: Adrien Brody, Sarah Polley, & Delphine Chanéac

Splice is bound to be a divisive movie; if you take a group of your friends, I imagine that you will be evenly split into those that will like it and those that will hate it. In fact, I suspect that there will be some of you who will love it and leave the theater proudly proclaiming that it is the savior of the long-ailing horror genre. Now, I'm going to splice all of these reactions together (See what I did there?) and come up with a more accurate response. Splice is certainly fearless and surprising, thus making some people think that it's great. Splice is also consistently entertaining, thus appealling to people on a more basic level as well. But, Splice is also rather simplistic and obviously-manufactured, which is why some people will hate it. Blend all of this stuff together and wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am you have an above-average science fiction thriller that is entertaining, but not even remotely as groundbreaking as it should be. I know that that will disappoint some of you, but it's true. The good news is that Splice is so convinced it's important and unique that it just might convince you of it too, what with the abundant discussions of ethics in science and all. But, I point you in the direction of Deep Blue Sea, a movie that posed similar questions, but had the guilt-filled benefit of super smart sharks. And when I can justly compare an all-too-serious science fiction thriller with a movie about intelligent fish that starred LL Cool J, you know there's something not quite right with it all.

"Spread" Puts Out Too Early.

Spread

Directed By: David Mackenzie

Starring: Ashton Kutcher, Anne Heche, & Margarita Levieva

Like many movies, Spread begins on the right foot. It introduces us to the undeniably despicable Nikki (Ashton Kutcher), a man who is vile but with the slight potential to become something better. He moved to Los Angeles because he was good-looking and hoped to live a life of luxury without having to work...because, you know, he is pretty and pretty people don't need to work. He hits on rich single women, like the blatantly naive Samantha (Anne Heche), who then invite him to live with them, buying him all sorts of fancy things. Basically, he's a prostitute, but he's too arrogant to admit it. Moving in with Samantha in her beautiful home and having her buy him heaps of designer clothes, he seems to have everything he could want...but then he gets even more selfish. And, when he gets selfish, Spread falls apart. You see, up to that point, the movie actually has a narrative; it's telling a compelling, albeit repugnant, story and it's telling it well. But then, that story arc is taken away and, in its place, we get...well, nothing really. This leaves Spread spinning its wheels for the rest of its runtime, not really going anywhere and not giving us any reason to stay behind. It does everything it possibly can with what it has far too early. Basically, to give you an idea of the problem, it's like during sex, when a guy...well, I think you get the idea.

A Rom-Com with a Body Count

Killers

Directed By: Robert Luketic

Starring: Ashton Kutcher, Katherine Heigl, & Tom Sellek

I like good romantic comedies, and I'm not naive enough to think that there are many original approaches to the subgenre left. I get so sick of critics saying that a new romantic comedy is cliched, stereotypical, or unoriginal. Of course, they are! There are only so many ways for a couple to meet, fall in love, break up, and then get back together in the last act...and there have been hundreds, if not thousands, of romantic comedies over the years, each trying to stand out from the rest in some way. Frankly, critics' excuses for hating this kind of movie are even more tired than the most worn-out of romantic comedy. But, let's be fair, most new romantic comedies suck, even if you don't account for how much they borrow from previously-made movies. They suck because their screenplays are lifeless, their casts are uninspired, and they are filmed with all the gusto of brick wall. The movies lack inspiration because the filmmakers clearly aren't aiming to make anything more than a stereotypical rom-com; consider it a self-fulfilling prophesy, if you will. And, my friends, making a stereotypical romantic comedy and not caring because you expect to make a stereotypical romantic comedy are two very different things. Take for example, Killers, cliched and relatively by-the numbers, but entertaining and worth-a-watch because the filmmakers dare to have a little fun with the subgenre and to actually try to make a good movie.

What Makes a Mother?

The Blind Side

Directed By: John Lee Hancock

Starring: Sandra Bullock, Tim McGraw, & Quinton Aaron

Leigh Anne Tuohy is the kind of person you wouldn't think could really exist if she didn't. She is commanding; deeply caring, but not in an overt way; controlling, but in a good way; and very funny. She is the kind of person who, I imagine, is very difficult to accurately play. There is the constant danger of becoming too over-the-top and losing the undeniable charm that the actual Leigh Anne Tuohy has. Because beneath her tough exterior, from all implications, she is a wonderful mother who is much more compassionate than she would like you to believe. There has been much discussion of whether or not Sandra Bullock really deserved the Oscar she won for this movie; some say that the Academy only rewarded her because of her long, beloved career and because this would probably be the only time she would ever be up for such an award (Miss Congeniality, as funny as it is, isn't really Oscar material). Hogwash, I say. If you have ever seen Leigh Anne Tuohy in an interview (YouTube has some, I'm sure), then you will see that Sandra Bullock so effortlessly slips into the role, capturing all of the complexities of a woman who is so outlandish that she seems completely impossible. It's a challenging role that would have been easy to screw up, but Bullock nails it.

Concert Review: Backstreet Boys

This Is Us

Location: Wild Adventures Theme Park (Valdosta, GA)

There is something about the Backstreet Boys. The time of boy bands has been over for nearly a decade and yet they are still very present, despite not being quite as lucrative as they once were. This is not lost on the four remaining members of the group: AJ McLean, Brian Littrell, Nick Carter, and Howie Dorough. Throughout their new This Is Us tour, they often poke fun at themselves and show rather remarkable gratitude towards their long-standing, albeit much smaller fanbase. Many other singers acknowledge how thankful they are for their fans, but their words seem hollow. When these four say, "Thank you," (and they do...often) you can almost see their pasts flash before their eyes. It must be humbling to have once played at the Georgia Dome and to now be performing at Wild Adventures Theme Park. Admittedly, this is one of the smaller venues they have played during this tour. Just a few days earlier, they played the 6900-seating Chastain Park Ampitheatre in Atlanta (the venue at Wild Adventures seats only about 2600). Still, none of these places hardly compares to the grandure of the Georgia Dome. It would have been easy for the Backstreet Boys to come out and give a subpar show, especially in a venue that usually houses country singers who merely stand at a microphone or, if you are lucky, strum a guitar. In fact, I was fully expecting a lifeless, phoned-in performance. That's not what I got.

A Wild Adventure for the Backstreet Boys

Almost ten years ago, my family and I ventured to see the Backstreet Boys at the Georgia Dome in Atlanta during their "Black & Blue" tour. My sister was a big fan...no, "big" does not even come close to describing it. She loved them, had her bedroom walls practically wallpapered with their posters, and stalked MTV in hopes of catching her fifty-thousandth viewing of the "Backstreet's Back" music video. So, when I learned that the Backstreet Boys would be bringing their "This Is Us" tour to the Wild Adventures Theme Park in Valdosta, Georgia (the weekend before her twenty-sixth birthday, no less!), I wanted to take her, if for nothing else, the nostalgia factor. I mean, how could they possibly be as good as they were back at the height of their career, especially since they had gone from selling out the 75,000-seating Georgia Dome to...playing at an amusement park? It would be fun to have a blast from the past. All tickets were only $10, not including the $50 park admission, a far cry from the $180 it cost for me to see "The Circus Starring Britney Spears" from the second row just last year. The downside: we waited until the day before to order tickets and, therefore, got stuck with row Z (the rows do go back to GG so, at least, we weren't all the way in the back).

Thank You for Being a Friend

Rue McClanahan (1934 - 2010)

It is with an especially sad heart that I announce the passing of Rue McClanahan, a woman who influenced me beyond my wildest imaginations. Her character, Blanche, in television's The Golden Girls remains one of my favorites, and her performance (along with those of the other girls) was one of the first I ever saw that made me recognize truly great television acting. I watch The Golden Girls more than any other show and have practically memorized every episode. I feel like that show has given me four extra grandmothers that have touched me profoundly through their work and their delightful humor. God bless you, Rue, and thank you for being my friend.