The Line Between Right and Wrong

Splice

Directed By: Vincenzo Natali

Starring: Adrien Brody, Sarah Polley, & Delphine Chanéac

Splice is bound to be a divisive movie; if you take a group of your friends, I imagine that you will be evenly split into those that will like it and those that will hate it. In fact, I suspect that there will be some of you who will love it and leave the theater proudly proclaiming that it is the savior of the long-ailing horror genre. Now, I'm going to splice all of these reactions together (See what I did there?) and come up with a more accurate response. Splice is certainly fearless and surprising, thus making some people think that it's great. Splice is also consistently entertaining, thus appealling to people on a more basic level as well. But, Splice is also rather simplistic and obviously-manufactured, which is why some people will hate it. Blend all of this stuff together and wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am you have an above-average science fiction thriller that is entertaining, but not even remotely as groundbreaking as it should be. I know that that will disappoint some of you, but it's true. The good news is that Splice is so convinced it's important and unique that it just might convince you of it too, what with the abundant discussions of ethics in science and all. But, I point you in the direction of Deep Blue Sea, a movie that posed similar questions, but had the guilt-filled benefit of super smart sharks. And when I can justly compare an all-too-serious science fiction thriller with a movie about intelligent fish that starred LL Cool J, you know there's something not quite right with it all.

Thank God for Adams and Goode

Leap Year

Directed By: Anand Tucker

Starring: Amy Adams, Matthew Goode, & Adam Scott

I have never understood characters that stalk off into unfamiliar terrain just because they are mad or upset...as though getting lost and possibly maimed or killed will somehow win them justice in the end. In Leap Year, Amy Adams huffs around so much that you begin to think she should permanently trade in her high heels for a nice pair of Skechers Shape-Ups. She is in Ireland, a place we learn is not as idyllic as it looks; there are ruggedly handsome jerks and boozers who steal luggage for no apparent reason. The last time I checked, the value of a bra depreciates significantly once it's worn, but I digress. Leap Year, written by Deborah Kaplan and Harry Elfont, has a really lame script. It isn't particularly funny or creative, and its narrative structure is poor to say the least...but, gosh darn it, the movie manages to make it work anyway. That is because of Amy Adams and Matthew Goode, both of whom are as charming as ever. They are two great actors simply slumming it in an old-fashioned romantic comedy, the quickest and easiest way in Hollywood to earn all-too-important box-office clout. It's kind of unfortunate to watch them give such good performances in an otherwise disappointing movie, but it's also kind of remarkable that they alone can make such material undeniably watchable...even enjoyable.

One...Two...Freddy's Coming for You

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

Directed By: Samuel Bayer

Starring: Jackie Earle Haley, Rooney Mara, & Katie Cassidy

The idea that Wes Craven's A Nightmare on Elm Street needed a remake is blasphemous to many movie fans, including myself. Having seen it a countless number of times over the years, I have practically memorized every scene, even every line. It's not surprising that someone would want to remake it, though I cannot figure out why they wouldn't have chosen to make another sequel instead. Back in 2003 (which isn't that long ago, even in the film industry), Freddy Vs. Jason grossed approximately $82 million domestically. For those of you keeping score at home, that is $18 million more than the Platinum Dunes remake of Friday the 13th made just last year. Alas, a remake has been made; Michael Bay produced it and Samuel Bayer directed it. They replaced the beloved Robert Englund with Jackie Earle Haley in the infamous role of Freddy Krueger, and cast the relatively unknown Rooney Mara in the role of Nancy Thompson, now inexplicably renamed as Nancy Holbrook. The end product is about what I expected. I didn't go into this expecting a revolutionary remake that somehow transcended its predecessor, because that just wasn't possible. I expected an entertaining, well-made horror movie, and that is exactly what I got.